Monthly Archives: May 2014
Music 101 – Lesson 1: The Strong Female Voice
Dearest Daughter,
Your mother used to have the worst taste in music. I was trying to think of something else to say – something cute that might take the sting out of that statement, but I came up with nothing. It was pretty much all poppy crap and every car ride was an exercise in anger management. We don’t always see eye to eye and that’s okay. (Your mother put RATM on the “Do Not Play” list at our wedding. I married her anyway.)
In 2004, a few years before we got married, I stayed behind in Los Angeles when your mother moved north for law school. Soon after, I decided that it was my duty to expand her musical horizons. I sent her good music that spanned genre and time. In retrospect, I think it was more a means of staying connected to her versus an effort to “reeducate” her. I tried to focus on strong female voices, especially those from women who had impacted the world through both song and social conscience. These voices closed the distance between your mother and me. In them, I felt your mother’s strong spirit, and that made me feel less alone. I honestly have no idea how much impact it actually had on her in the end, and I can’t even remember most of the songs I sent. Still, we danced to Alison Krauss on our wedding day, and I can’t help but take credit for that.
This is my short list of female singers that I hope you are familiar with. If not, I’ve been a horrible father. Sorry.
- Aretha Franklin
- Grace Slick
- Janis Joplin
- Etta James
- Karen O
- Patsy Cline
- Florence Welch
- Alison Krauss
- Eva Cassidy
- Norah Jones
- Pink – When she screams in her songs, I REALLY felt like your mother is next to me… (Kidding.)
You will find other voices that speak to you. Explore them all. Most importantly, don’t just listen to music – learn the contexts around songs, what they signified, who they were aimed at, and what deeper messages they might have. By the time you read this you will know that you did not inherit any vocal talent from your mother and me. Maybe you will develop some on your own; maybe you won’t. Either way, I hope you are never afraid to let your voice be heard.
Love Always, Dad
Daddy cusses a lot
Dearest Daughter,
By the time you are old enough to read this, you will likely already know that Daddy has a potty mouth. With any luck, it will have improved dramatically, but I’m honestly not looking to make it a priority. You see, somewhere along the lines, my brain associated truth and honesty with language so colorful that it makes sailors blush. Four-letter words – and a slew of homemade 12-letter words, too – are as much a part of me as you are. I’m not endorsing it, but it is who I am, and there’s nothing wrong with being yourself.
I guess, ultimately, I’m wondering what you will be like, and how much of you will really be a reflection of your mother and me. Will you be quick to forgiveness or quick to anger? Will your face be full of smiles or frowns? Will you find intrigue in art; comfort in music? Whoever you will be, I look forward to getting to know you.
…just please don’t become one of those ridiculous caricatures I see daily. You’ll know these people some day. Perhaps you’ll overhear them in an elevator, going on and on about just how UH-MAY-ZING such-and-such salad bar is because the food is just SO DE-LISH. Fuck those people.
Love Always, Dad
Holy crap, I just called myself “Dad”…
Well, I suppose there’s no turning back now…
In just over 15 weeks, your mother and I will finally get to meet you; to hold you. The truth is, I’m terrified. Everyone says that you’re never really ready to be a parent, you just rise to the occasion. And I hope that I will. I promise to learn to be a good father every moment of my life, and I promise to project as little as possible. (USC is still off the table, though.)
Soon enough, I will be Dad, Daddy, Papa, etc. I will be all of those things. It will be the most important title I will ever receive and I hope I earn it daily.
So, 15.42857 weeks and counting. I can’t wait to meet you. Until then…
Love Always, Dad